day 23 - give pictures of 5 guys who are famous who you find attractive.




day 24 - your favorite movie and what it’s about.

(will update after I sleep.)

day 25 - someone who fascinates you and why.
day 26 - what kind of person attracts you.
day 27 - a problem that you have had.
day 28 - something that you miss.
day 29 - goals for the next 30 days.
day 30 - your highs and lows of this month.

Okay, its 4:24am right now. I have to sleep.
Oh, this will probably be my last post in this blog.
I'm getting so so soooo sick of this URL. Hahah.

Bye :)

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

Tag repies.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: You also la.

wsm: ooooooh, alrights! any nice blogshop can intro. trustable and nice?

@Ahlian. Fuck you lah. I alrd say I quit alrd right?! Wtf -.-
@wsm. Have uh. But not your type of blogshops uh.

Tag replies.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: WHAT AH LIAN! Lol. My boyf also let me smoke. Hohohohoho.

seldomvisitor: Nope. Far from it.

Serena: Tags!:) relink me!:)

wsm: LOL HAHA . Fixeeeeeed.(: anyway hope o lvl was easy pizzy(?) lemon squeezy.

wsm: do visit our blogshop!

@Ahlian. Quit lah.
@seldomvistor. Okayyyyy.
@Serena. After Os yeh :)
@wsm. Oh, hahahah! alright! :) Yeh, O level was kinda okay uh :) & yeh, I visited your blogshop long ago uh. But I don't really like preorders ah. I usually blogshop from livejournals. :) sorreeeehhh~

Met up with love yesterday and headed to church. Hung out awhile with Emily then went over to Alexis, Isabel they all there. Slacked till 11:20pm then took a taxi to causeway to watch Paranormal Activity 2. Woah best. Damn scary. I covered my ears, he covered my eyes. Just listening to the sound effects is scary enough alrd. It had a damn abrupt ending tho. Hahahh. Later on, he explained to me what happened ah. Quite scary. Heh. Some more its based on a true story. :(

Tag replies.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: What emo elmo ?!

HyperJess: tagged (:

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: Oi, my cigg lehh?! You say give 17 end up I take 8 ciggg only lehh!

@Ahlian. Emo elmo lah! My friend last time call me that de. And, I said 15 lah, where got say 17. Oi, I saving your life ley. So that you won't early die. Still oi me. Tsk! 8 is a lot alrd lo. HAHAHA. Some more laofong alrd lo.
@Hyperjess. Hey.

your highs and lows of this past year.

Eh, I guess my lows was like early this year? After the whole breakup and stuff. Then the whole cannot-get-over-him stuff. Yeh. Then, slowly things got better. I got used to the emptiness and stuff. And suddenly I was like over him uh. Then there was ted. Nice guy. Kinda happy talking to him and stuff lah. Then somehowwww. yeh. Well usual stuff lah. Those relationship stuff. K lah. I don't think its worth like looking back on these stuff. Since its like over. And its not as if, its the end of the world or what uh. I realized after some time. Life isn't just about love. Love just makes the ride better. The highs of this year would probably be when my results were going quite well. K lah, now my results a bit suck lah, but I can say, I'm going through the highs of this year like NOW. I'm happy NOW. :):)

your beliefs.

I believe in God. :) K lah, can say for a period of time, I lost the faith and everything. But just a few days back, I found back the believe in Him uh. Like through Amanda. Hahah. That one best, a few months ago, I emo elmo, wna suicide all, then she told me to read a bible verse. And suddenly I felt better. And on Monday, I was like praying and stuff uh. And all of a sudden, life became such a breeze. Like suddenly damn easy ah. So yeh. :):)

disrespecting your parents.

Ah best. K lah. I don't like disrespecting my parents uh. Can say that I used to be a havoc child. Like out of control child last time uh. For nothing quarrel with parents all. But can say I grew up or something? I try to like avoid these quarrels and stuff uh. I guess I don't lie to my parents. Even my mum ask I smoke or what, I just say yeah all those. Hahah. Oh. I changed is partly cause of my elder cousin ah. She like damn dislike it when I make noise with my parents ah. So she will nag me a bit. Then k lah. I listen to what she say, then quite true uh. These two people took don't know how much energy to bring me up and stuff. So yeh. Oh, I bloody hate it when I see those ahbeng ahlian ah, quarrel with parents in public then make a lot of noise. Srsly, -.-

how important you think education is.

I don't really see much importance in education lah. As in, school-wise. I mean like. We go to school, study shitless, get all the A1s. Get a job. Have a family. Die. WHATS THE POINT!?!? I really see no point. I mean, if we don't study, we can still get a job and stuff what. I see all my ite friends, they alrd planning their life damn well alrd. Ite not equals its the end. No education not equals no more life or what. But ah, if singapore have a "no need go school" policy. Surely the whole singapore will become a fail country ah. So a bit important I guess?

one of your favorite shows.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL. LOVE MAN! :)

how have you changed in the past 2 years?

K lah, honestly last time lower sec I really like one cb lah. Change boyfriend like don't know changing what like that uh. Then got bad reputation in school, blah blah blah. I hope ah. I hope that I changed for the better and stuff? I used to be like damn irritating. Go to Jess and mess up her stuff. Hahah. Then she will kpkb make noise all. But now not so much. Hahaha. I rmb we were having humanities lesson recently uh. She was seated behind me with KhoYT uh. Then like she ask me pick up smt for her. Then I just pick up and pass to her. And she was like "OMG STEF! YOU CHANGED!" I'm like..... uhhhhhh. HAHAHA. K lah. Best lah. I last time really damn cb. I feel like going back into time and slapping the old me. Heh. :)

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

FOLLOW MY TWITTER! K, I'm home alone today. As always. No mood to study. Seriously. I don't like myself. I wanna ALWAYS have the mood to study. Ughhhhhh. K, I think I going out to meet J or something. I not so sure. Cause S wants to meet me as well. Zzzz. And plus, I have night study. Fab. SKIPPING. Kay, bye bye. He's taking forever to reply my text :(

Tag replies.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: I seriously love nightmares, which can make me cry !

dailyvisitor --> seldomvisitor: You smoke? What about the people that will go mad(or something) when you take up smoking again??

@Kerou. Mad one you. OHYA. Your cigg. I got alrd :)
@dailyvistor --> seldomvistor. WHY YOU SELDOM VISIT ALR? Hahah. No lah, its okay. No one's getting mad (or something). My mum also not very bothered.

Hi, life is a mess. I needa get back on track and continue studying. Going over to friend's house to MUG. Then, gonna meet up with love and Mr fatty indian guy. ;) Heh! Emily, if you see this, please know that I am freaking out now and going crazy. Thanks. If I die from heart attack, tell him how I felt. HAHAHA. K lah, I think I'm mad alrd. But really, my heart feels like its flying around my body now! :):):):) K, hopefully all goes well alright. My secret ;) don't tell anyone! Hahahah. Well, school's out for us 4E5N. Study leave like fuck yeah! I'm in a fucking holiday mood. Like fuck no! :( MUGGING NOW. Goodbye. Will try to update whenever I get my hands on a computer. Using mum's laptop now. Zai jian! :) ONE LAST THING. I've been updating my TWITTER a lot! Know what to do yeh? FOLLOW!

Tag replies.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: WHAT SIAO ? DD: You bad la, one preson smoke so many sticks.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: Never share!

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: Person*

Anon: Hi dear, what school are you from?

@Kerou I ALSO BELIEVE IN NIGHTMARES LOL. Hahah, next time I buy for you lah! :)
@Anon Bukit View Sec, gonna graduate soon anyway. :)

Alright so, I've been kinda busy and not updating and stuff. Well. This week went kinda well I suppose. With a lot of going out and a lot of studying and all those shit. My blackberry is my number 1 convenience. Love it. ;) Heh. I was over at Amy's house yesterday. We watched house bunny! And I was wearing my fucking heels that nearly killed my feet. After that, I went to church. Yay. My feet died even more. Slacked with the guys at the indian stall then walked Emily and Crispin to the interchange. Otw to the interchange, my feet hurt like hell, so Dom piggy bagged me! Hahah! After the two left, we hung out with Johnathan, Dom and the small guy. I don't know how to spell his name. :/ talked about some politics and conflicts stuff at macs till almost 3 am then they walked home. God I missed Dom! Smoked like idk what like that. Reached home, immediately kicked off my heels and grabbed my towel and went to shower! Then SLEEEEEP. :D

Tag replies.

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO ;DDDDDDDDD

cecilia: spam spam spam =) darling~

@Kerouu. Siao.
@cecilia. ;)

bullet your whole day.

• woke up.
• trained to school.
• lessons.
• recess.
• lessons.
• skipped intensive.
• smoked.
• studied in canteen.
• slacked.
• smoked.
• night study.
• studied.
• smoked.
• ended at 9pm.
• went to playground with daren.
• played swings.
• played the spinning thingy
• got damn giddy.
• went to carpark rooftop.
• played sad songs.
• we both almost cried.
• caught last train home

somewhere you’d like to move or visit.

USA. With my angmoh boyfriend. Not angmoh also can lah! hahah.

your earliest memory.

Where got such thing as earliest memory sia? I guess the only few things I can remember from my childhood is how I hated eating peas a lot. During Kindergarten, I always raised up my hands and requested for no peas in my porridge. Heh. ;) I know, I'm so cuteeee. LOL.

your favorite tumblrs.

dirtylittlestylewhoree
youcantry
circasurvivesforerica
papertissue
youareonlyoungonce

your views on mainstream music.

Have no idea whats that.

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

FYI. Look to your left. There's a section which showcases my old blogs. Yah. You can see my past nonsense there and laugh at me. :) Have fun. Seriously. Hahah/

put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

Blah, my ipod is with yawata now. Can I sub it with my phone?

1. Too Little Too Late - JoJo
2. Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls
3. All Good Things - Nelly Furtado
4. Not Fair - Lilly Allen
5. Heartless - Kanye West
6. My Boo - Usher
7. Fifteen - Taylor Swift
8. Happy Ending - Mika
9. Just So You Know - Jesse McCartney (My boyfriend since sec1!)
10. Candle (Sick and Tired) - The White Tie Affair

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

Hmm, I went to cine yesterday night to watch eat,pray,love. The movie was at 9.50pm. Nice timing right? I like it too. Hahah. Bro taxi to Yishun to taxi me to Orchard. And yeah. Went to buy the tickets and cigg. Smokeee~ Walked around paragon and places. Went to eat bakerzin, his treat. Smoked again then walked back to cine and stuff. I was wearing my heels. Like ouch. By the time we were back in cine, the hall just nice open alrd. So yeah. Movie was not bad. My mother told me she like the actor Julia Roberts. :/

After the movie, there was no more train service, so bro taxi me home. Woah, living the good life man. Travel around is travel by taxi one. Not bad uh. Rich people like that one. Tsk. Reached home around 1 plus. Showered, and slept. Or, rather, flipped around like roti prata. Usual routine uh. Fell asleep around 4 30.

School today was shit. I didn't wanna wake up at all. I swear my whole body was just glued to the bed. My mum had to scream and shout at me. Then my dad had to taxi me to school. But end up still late for school, and still had to do dc. Zzzzzz. My parents don't understand why I don't want to go to school. I just feel like my heart mind body soul is just not ready to go school. Seriously. I just wanna play and party the rest of my life away.

Skipped phys remedial with Aravindh and Zhanwang. Broke down in school like again. This time, it was kinda Aravindh and Zhanwang who were there for me. Thanks guys. :) I really did appreciate it. And thanks Subra for like listening to my whole life story. I think Subra is a damn damn easy person to talk to. And he like understands what I'm like going through uh. So yeah. Smoked as usual with the guys. Then went off to meet Cecilia for dinner. Ate then took the ultra long journey bus home. 852. Woohoo, I caught some shut-eye in the bus. Love love love loveeeee.

Oh yeah, I promised a friend that I WILL study and concentrate in class and that I won't sleep. I promised him. Oh god. I'm so dead. I have to sleep early tonight. I am so determined to NOT break this promise. After all, it is for my own good. And fuck Mr Chan, he has yet to pass me my report book. I wanna see my prelim results sia. Although I know its gonna be a disappointment, but yeah.

Gonna break down anytime soon again. Blah. You really don't know how it feels to me living my life. Don't know how it feels to be pushed around like that. Don't know how it feels to always be forgotten and stuff. Like the least important person and stuff. Lia and Daren MIA. -.- blah. I'm going to sleep now, I hate my life. Depressed people need to sleep. I've always been alone. For almost 16 years. No, I'm not used to it. No, I don't really like it. And the people who choose to leave, what the fuck is wrong with you?! :(

Tag replies.

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: SIAO! I STILL YOUNG LEHH! I want my life.

Kerou;Ibelieveinnightmare: WALAO, my own boyf alo never everyday go stalk/tag my blog lor. D:<

@Kerouu. Sad just suicide lah! Hahahah! Oi, quit smoking hor you!
@Kerouu. HAHA. My ex also never stalk/tag my blog everyday. See I love you so much sia! ;););)

BEST


THING


EVER.

I was at tumblr, and I suddenly saw this link. To like, see depression levels uh. I got 73. Severe depression. O_O daren got 86 points. fabulous. emo club. I'm stuck at home this whole day. Yay me.

"You shouldn't hate Oct. Cause from Oct onwards, Imma standby you for as long as I could (: smile" right. liar. :) ♥

Hello hello. I'm here. I just woke up around an hour ago. Its a great improvement eh! I slept kinda late as usual cause I was flipping around like roti prata. I just couldn't fall asleep. -.- Hmm. Chatting with daren long now. We're planning how and when we're gonna commit suicide. Oh, he doesn't want me to smoke. He copy paste me one youtube link on the bad effects of smoking. Ew. The first thing I see is someone chopping some lungs into two. Ew. I immediately closed it. Oh then he claims smoking causes blindness. Like whhhaaaa? K uh, see how luh. Friday go church again, smoke with Nigel and Johnathan. Woooooo. ;) like this not so sian mah, watch them like that smoke will feel like suicide eh. ;) hahaha.

K ah, funny sia. I told daren I have a friend who smoked since 10. And he's 20 now, and he hasn't died yet. Then he's like. You see luh, tml he die. HAHA. I like. ;);)

Alright, I'm starving alrd. I'm gonna go eat the nasi lemak that mum bought for me.

going offline. dad is gonna come out and scream at me in 10 seconds. 1 last thing. I wish you'd call me now just to say I love you. cause I miss you. okay, bye.

discuss your first love and first kiss.

HAHA. Good question. My first love... hmmm... like those really love eh? Primary school were all those puppy love. Sec one was also kinda puppy love. I guess my first love was Cadbury. Oh man, I shall not mention his real name here because he's now attached, I don't wanna like screw things up. Oh, he was a really nice guy. A bit gangster I guess? Smokes and stuff. Being with him was really awesome. We were together for almost a year (excluding break & patches). The relationship didn't work out though. Just recently, he contacted me. After really long? Met up with him. He changed a lot. Thats all I can say. Yeah. He's a jerk now. He used to be a really sweet person. He used to tell me this. 520 1314 3344 184. Something like that. Its some chinese thing. Honestly, I do think of him from time to time. But what to do? He's changed for the worse. Even his close brothers can't do anything to change him back. Hmmm. Furthermore, his girlfriend will chop my head off if I contact him. Hahah. Apparently he couldn't get over me or something? My first love was so damn imperfect. He took me as a game. So yeah. But that was the past. Whats over is over eh? :)

Anyway. My first kiss was forced. I don't wanna say by who and when. But yeah.

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

K uh, your fucking emo status from long ago made me cry. Cause they reminded me of someone. Yeah. And when I went all the way back to late 2009, when I saw you and her talking, it reminded me even more of him. So yeah. And I realized that you're way complicated than I thought. And that I didn't deserve you in the first place cause I barely know you. The only thing about you is how easily you can put a smile to my face. I wish I had known  you earlier. I realized I'm nothing at all to you. compared to someone you've known for 9 years. K lah, Idk what happened. But yah. Idk uh. I wanna talk to you now. N O W.

K great. So I went further. And I found someone else. Now, I really cannot comprehend you and your tiny lil' mind. I really wish I had asked you that day. When you told me "oh actually you're the second girl I've chased this year." I should have said "that means last year a lot uh?" K awesome. I went all the way back to 20092009. And the fucking page hung on me. Oh, and I saw your latest statuses.

Okay lah, I cannot confirm that he doesn't read my blog anymore. But google.com/analytics says he doesn't. Blah. I wanna delete this blog soon. Seriously. Hahah. I'm so lonely~~ :( right, Lia? right, Amanda? Heh. Life uh. Fucked up shit.

I want to know someone. Like really really know someone. I want someone to tell me all of their deepest darkest secrets. I want someone to tell me everything about their past love. I want someone to turn to me when they need love. I want someone who can easily talk to me and laugh with me over the slightest things. I want someone who'll never give up on me no matter how tough it gets. I want someone to be my best friend and my lover.

Hello. I'm hereeee. I slept late and woke up early today. Okay lah. Considered quite early for me. I woke up at 12! Yay. I slept at 5am eh. Means I had damn damn lil' sleep. :( K whatever. So. I was supposed to go universal studios with bro today. But he cancelled. And sorta postponed it to next friday. Hmm. I wanted to go with a boyfriend or something, but he don't mind bringing me, so anything uh. Hahah. He's paying for me too. So yah. Rich guy. Tsk. Blah. I'm gonna try to spam my blog less often. Quite down this whole day. Lay in bed watching tv on my phone and texting a few people. So no life. :( I feel like changing my blog skin again.

Tag replies.

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: D: I also sad lor.

@Kerouu. go suicide together lah. hahah. :/ cheer up. :)

a moment you felt the most satisfied with your life.

a MOMENT? When someone said he loved me. :/ I know, ridiculous. But thats me for you. Deal with it. :)

how you hope your future will be like.

day 2 answers this question.
Quoting day 2,

day 2 - where you’d like to be in 10 years.

I'm 15 now. So when I'm 25, I wanna be rich. I wanna migrate to USA with some rich Caucasian husband. K, so usually these type of question is like asking about our ambitions in life. But really, I think I have none. When I was a kid, I used to watch Groom My Room on Kids Central. And I remember telling my mum a million times that I wanna be a interior designer. But now, when I'm at this age. I realize its kinda hard to start a career being an interior designer. Like, who'd hire some unknown inexperienced person.

Anyway, awhile back, this year, I was thinking of being a lawyer. I mean, lawyers are rich and everything. But what the heck, their lives are crap. Imagine having a case at hand, how the hell will you have a normal life. Probably we'd spend all our time working on the case and figuring out how to win it right? Like as if we'd have time for our family like this. Anyway, those were what Jianhong told me when he heard that I wanted to be a lawyer. Also, who'd wanna hire some unknown person? Probably people would hire those famous lawyers who can guarantee that they'd win the case. Right? It'll take quite some time to become a successful lawyer.

So later on, Jianhong got me to think. Like, what the hell do I wanna be? I gotta decide before making a choice between poly and JC right? Until now, I still have no idea. He told me I should take a course on management, because I'm good at bossing people around. Zzz. Nonsense.

Basically, in 10 years, I wanna be rich and living in USA with my family.

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

Boy: I broke up with her. 
His Best Friend: What happened? 
Boy: She’s just too much for me. 
His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong? 
Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure.. 
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see.. 
Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy! 
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see.. 
Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby! 
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see.. 
Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it. 
His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see.. 
Boy: Well, she.. 
His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud? 
Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me? 
His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

This made me a lil' :(:(:(

Yes yes. I went to church just now. Like OHHH MYYYY GODDD right? Sorry, still don't believe in God. Heh. I just went there to meet up with Emily. Bitch ;) There're 24 more pictures but I'm lazy to upload all of them. Had supper with them after church. Seafood horfun. Ew. Such a huge serving. I almost vomited. Anyway, Johnathan and Nigel ah, smoke smoke smoke smoke, smoke die you. -.- Some more 1 is underage. Tsk! And some more donwan offer me, still happy happy smoke in front of me. Zzzzz.

Oh, I didn't blog the whole day cause I was sleeping my day away. I only woke up for good at 5pm. The usual lah, sleep then wake up all. Skipped school again. Like obviously. I feel like my heart and brain isn't ready for school. Know? Ah heck. Sorry Cecilia, sorry Amy, sorry Amanda, sorry Akila, and sorry Lia. ;) I know you guys miss me a billion. Anyway. I was texting Amanda, and we realized that our entire circle of friends consists of emo-saddish people. Don't believe me? See. Me, Lia, Akila, Daren, Amanda, and maybe Sixiang if you wanna consider him as our circle of friends. So yah. I told Amanda that I was down and yadayada. All the nonsense ah.

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: Okayokay. No uh. Cilia don't let me smoke DD:

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: Never come school again?! ):

Sally!: Heyhey, what's name of the song in your blog?

when we talk, I feel like I can smile for hours and hours without getting tired. but when we don't... :'(

I don't know how to describe this feeling. Its like somewhere in between sad and insignificant. ah heck. its both. I think I break apart too easily. I lied to my girls that I'm fine. And I said that its stupid not to be fine. I laughed my foolishness off. But really, is "I'm fine" the right words to describe my mood? I don't know why I break apart so easily. And I'm not sure why I lie about it. I wanna scream.

Tag replies.

Emilycs: BOO ! IM STALKING YOU, MUHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAS XD How have you been ?

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: MUST HOR! IF NOT I TOUCHTOUCH YOU! D

huiwen: WOW ILOVE THAT PIC !  i am going to get the shirt soon  maybe i go there then see how

@Emilycs. OMG. THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST TIME YOU TAG ME! I've been awesome! Miss you loads! :(
@Kerouu. AHYA, touch lah! Come only mah! You want touch then say lah! Alamak! Hahahha! :)
@Huiwen. WHAT PIC? O:

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart. Its the end of the world in my mind.

Its alright, I survived, I'm alive again. Cause of you, made it through every storm.
What is life? Whats the use if you're killing inside.
I'm so glad I found an angel. Someone who was there when all my hopes fell.

I changed my blog song. I got sick of Kelly Clarkson screaming NEVER AGAINNNNN alrd. Jesse Mccartney is the love. He's my favorite Caucasian guy. My boyfriend since sec 1. Don't play play. Hahahah. Joke. I'm so bored. :( I'm playing his song on replay on my phone.

I think he's in malaysia now? :( dies*

I skipped school like again. I texted him early this morning and he didn't reply. :/ I woke up many times to check my phone to see if he replied. But, no. :/

I went to bed at 5am. Awesome or what? Mum just woke up and I go sleep. She come kpkb me a bit then she go do her own things alrd lah. I was still awake at 5.30am. Flipping around like roti prata. Somehow fell asleep. Then woke up around 6 when mum woke me up. Then sleep till around 7. She just left home around that time. Dad wasn't at home. Hmmm. Sleeeepp and woke up around 9 cause Amanda's text woke me up. Watched tv on my phone until 10 thirty then sleeeeeep. Woke up at 1 plus to text some people then sleeeepp. And woke up at 3 plus. Then sleeeeep. FINALLY woke up at 5pm cause Wanglong called me to ask about my sale of books. The Low Kay Hwa books thing. Zzzzzz. I realized I slept a lot. I'm still tired know? :/

I just had my dinner and dad just left home for work. Night shift ay. What the heck.

why the fuck am I still awake?$^@ :( Ugh. I'm trying like mad to integrate the fucking email with my blackberry. so annoying. going to bed in a few more minutes. hopefullyyyyy. :/ my mum just came out to scream at me. hahah. I should stop spamming blogger and go to sleep. seriously. :(

I decided to do all these 3 days in 1 shot. Mainly because I didn't have time to do them the past few days, and also because it's past midnight alrd, so I'm doing day 7 as well! :)

a time you thought about ending your own life.

This happened like really many times alrd. but the most recent time that this happened was just last week. I alrd prepared everything. the medicine. Over dosage of medicine kills. A lot of shit. cried like my tears were free-flow. Nothing much happened. I thought about ending my own life (as the question states) but people pulled me outta it. although I know it sounds foolish to think of such a thing, but aw well. I'm a stupid naive foolish silly person. get over it. oh, and I'm just totally a xiao mei mei to you. (venting frustration :/)

write 30 interesting facts about yourself.

#01. I choose to pretend nothing happens when something goes wrong
#02. I run away.
#03. I think too much.
#04. I hurt too hard.
#05. My pet hamster died. :(
#06. I love l4d.
#07. I dislike l4d2 (giddy!)
#08. I live my life the way I want.
#09. I'm a Sagittarius.
#10. I believe in forevers.
#11. I like red.
#12. I stalk.
#13. I remember the people who leave.
#14. My best friend is myself.
#15. I don't lie about serious stuff.
#16. I get impressed easily.
#17. I was born in Decemeber
#18. I rely too much on certain people.
#19. I pretend to be happy.
#20. I love eating.
#21. I'm 168cm.
#22. I blogshop.
#23. I'm an only child. (I hate that)
#24. I enjoy solitude at times.
#25. I like cheering people up.
#26. I rarely take the advice that I give to others.
#27. I blog hop.
#28. I have bad relations with my family.
#29. I vent my emotions in this blog.
#30. I don't like myself.

interesting enough? if not, fuck the question and get over it. :/

Labels: Oct's 30 day challenge.

Does it hurt to know I'd never be there? Does it suck to see my face everywhere?
They may believe you, but I never will. Never again. Never again will I want you, never again will I need you. Never.







I skipped school today and broke the promise that I made to Akila. Ahhh, sorry. I pinky promised her that I'd go to school early today to accompany her to meet Miss Gopal. Whats more, I didn't reply her text cause I was fast asleep. I really feel like skipping school everyday alrd. But my mum would kill me. Heh.

I woke up multiple times today. Cause I kept going back to sleep. I woke up at 6am when mum woke me up. I woke up at 8 when dad woke me up. I woke up at 10 to text him. I woke up at 2. then I FINALLY woke up at 3pm. Dragged myself outta bed and switch on the computer. My dad is evil. He removed the wire for the computer screen. So I decided I shall not use the computer until I'm back home. So here I am! I'm home. I found the wire and I connected it back. I'm so smart. I initially planned to blog with my bb, but it can't be done. Zzzz.

Headed for "dinner" with Yawata. But we didn't even eat at all. We just loitered around Westmall. This lady at the first floor gave me a piece of paper thing with the perfume scent thing. Woah, it smelled damn good and it was selling at 49 dollars only. I'll buy it once my allowance comes in. :) Anyway, I walked into wattsin and I realized something. A few weeks back, I was packing up my room and I found this really nice star necklace. I completely forgot where I got it from. And today, I realized its from wattsin and that I bought it when Zhixiang was with me. Either that, or he bought it for me. Heh.

Went to coffee bean to read my story book and to eat strawberry cheesecake. Alright, Yawata wanted the strawberry cheesecake so I bought it for him, since he had no money. And fuck it. Strawberry cheesecake is somewhat like strawberry cake. It reminded me of something. So I felt fucked up and texted Lia. Its damn dumb how something like this reminds me of stuff like that.

Went up to the carpark rooftop to vent my emotions (and take pictures, heh). Cried a bit then went to buy bread for my mum. We both headed home after that. I've yet to tell Yawata what happened. I think its better not to tell him anyway.

Stuff happens. Shit happens. People come, people go. I was complaining to Sean Ignatius Tan about it through text when I was otw home. And, I realized how naive and stupid I am. Its not even the first time. I bet he's getting sick of me ranting about it. He told me how I shouldn't be so dumb and stuff. Aw well. Xi guan jiu hao.

But really, I'm sad at how insignificant I am.

Tag replies.

Sally !: HI STEF ! I'm here to tag youuuuuuuu ! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  STALK YOU AGAIN!

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: HELLO STALKER!  I don't like her sio. DD:

G.huifen: Still not earning?

Kerouu; I'mnaive.: STEF! Why never go night study yesterday?!

@Sally! HELLO!
@Kerouu. I think I'm more naive. Hahahah, I don't like her either!
@G.huifen. Earn 80 cents alrd. Zzzzz.
@Kerouu. Hahah. Because I went to Orchard! :) to meet my boyfriend.