when we talk, I feel like I can smile for hours and hours without getting tired. but when we don't... :'(

I don't know how to describe this feeling. Its like somewhere in between sad and insignificant. ah heck. its both. I think I break apart too easily. I lied to my girls that I'm fine. And I said that its stupid not to be fine. I laughed my foolishness off. But really, is "I'm fine" the right words to describe my mood? I don't know why I break apart so easily. And I'm not sure why I lie about it. I wanna scream.